My body is here but my mind is still filled with images from Haiti. I wish I could share something profound or deep. But I feel very much at a loss for words. I didn’t realize how much it gets someone “down” to look around and see so much destruction every minute of every day – to look at rubble – to look at buildings and know there are bodies in there – to think about how many died in this place, in that place – to know that schools are demolished, garbage is mounting, sewage is flowing freely. After just a few days I already longed to see beauty.

And on the fourth day beauty came! and with it came hope.

I had asked Erold, the education director, if he could gather a few children because I had some cards children in Hartford had made for them. I wanted to take their picture with the cards so the kids in Hartford could see I had delivered them. So when these 5 neighborhood children came into the yard – all scrubbed and polished and in their neat and clean clothes – it really was a beautiful sight! Their smiles and enthusiasm and excitement at receiving the cards and having the sentiments read to them and explained – it was a wonderful moment. And those eager faces brought me to a place of hope as well. If we keep working together we can create a Haiti that will not fail these kids. We cannot give up and let them down. They are living daily with what felt to me like a boulder on my shoulders. While I knew I was going back home to a more beautiful place, they have to keep up the daily struggle for survival. So I ask all of you to continue your prayers, your interest, your financial support when you can. I know that we can make a difference for these children! …..Sue

I have never felt guilty about having to leave Haiti. But this time on the way to the airport I felt like I was leaving the scene of an accident. In reality our brief trip could not compare, in terms of impact, to the medical groups that preceded us or that will follow us. Still I felt that we were at least able to show a familiar face to the staff and to the neighborhood. We were able to say in halting and limited Kreyole that we were sorry for what had happened and that HSJ will remain committed long after international organizations and media run out of budget and will to be there. We were able to discuss plans for the future with Max and his management team and even shared a few lighthearted moments.

The contrast of demolition and reconstruction at HSJ was not lost on me and served as a metaphor for the challenge that HSJ faces. We have an opportunity, with God’s help, to recreate and rebuild with the resolve to effectively address the injustices that have long plagued the people of Christ ROi and all of Haiti. Like Sue the smiling faces of the children, the determined work of the contractors on our site, the resolve of Max and the staff, the tough decisions being made and the plans being executed demonstrated to me that hope is not lost.

We, personally and as part of the HSJ organization, have felt your support and prayers throught these past 2 months. It helps to keep us going and for that we thank you very much……..Dennis

Max and I were able to get to the UN headquarters this afternoon …traffic notwithstanding…and met with a UNICEF representative regarding getting assistance for our nutrition program. We are hopeful that the conversation and follow up will be beneficial.

This is the last full day of our brief stay. We needed to see for ourselves what had happened. We were heartened that programs are re-emerging with a sense of purpose and we are now looking to the future. I believe a lot of productive discussions took place which will serve the post earthquake Hospice well. ..Dennis

I just couldn’t sleep last night – especially when the rain started. I kept thinking of the mommies holding the babies up. Max says they just try to find a building with an overhang that looks safe enough and they stand there as long as necessary – all night long if needed. It was hard to lie there safe and dry.

Today a baby was born right in the street. The poor Mom had no privacy at all, but at least the clinic nurses were still here and helped her. The doctor had already left.

I think I feel worse today than i did when we first came. The atmosphere is very oppressive. I feel a weight on me. I can’t comprehend how these people are living.

We passed Champ Mars yesterday. It’s a big park right by the palace. Over 26,000 people are living there right now. We drove up to a section called Fort Nationale – we went on street after street – i think there were maybe 2 structures that were still standing. Everything else was rubble. It was like someone had just dropped bombs on it.

It has been very cloudy today and I am pretty sure it will rain again tonight. The employees who have tents say they get wet anyway because they have no tarps underneath and the water just comes up.

Don’t mean to be so depressing. Guess it’s the way I am feeling right now.

On a positive note the clinic reopened today and there were at least 30 people waiting early this morning. So we continue…..

Sue

Arrived yesterday early afternoon. The airport was a different experience but not as disorganized as i anticipated. We didn’t know which side to look out the windows as we were driven to Hospice. HUGE tent cities and many smaller clusters. Some are actually tents and others are a mix of sheets, tarps, plastic. When we arrived we took in the sights at and surrounding Hospice. Just utter diisaster. Most of what was close to Hospice is unusable. At Hospice itself we were surprised to see what has already gone up in the yard – with plywood, 2 x 4’s and metal roofing. There is a makeshift office, a dormitory and the initiation of a clinic area.

We were greeted by the employees – some of them still working and some just “hanging out” because this is their “place.” This is where I lost it and just cried for about the first 15 minutes as I greeted each one and asked about their families and their homes. Most of them have nothing left.

Later in the day we walked up the hill to the Genius School where many of the sponsored childdren went – it’s destroyed. We met the brother of the principal who spoke perfect Enbglish and had a nice conversation with him. He is hoping to rebuild – right now he and his father are working on salvaging what they can. At Hospice there have been several parent meetings. Max and Erold (Education Director) were hoping to gaher the children here this week, but because they are taking the building down it’s not safe or practical – hopfully by next week.

Max was out visiting his elderly father so we didn’t see him until the evening. Had a good long talk. Max feels that the earthquake really proved how necessary the services that Hospice offers – expecially the medical – are so needed in this neighborhood as Hospice was the only provider of anything for the first few weeks.

It is a hub of activity here. Five guys with sledgehammers are pretty much taking the building down by hand. This morning they are shoveling the debris into 5 gallon buckets and one wheelbarrow and carrying it down to the pool area (for those of you who don’t know – this was never used as a pool since we have been coming) and filling up that space. I can’t believe how hard they are working..

A small tip for those who follow us here..when taking a bucket shower do a little quality control on the bucket you are using before you take off your clothes…it shortens the shower by at least ten minutes..Slept remarkably well.

all for now.

Peace

Sue and Dennis

Hospice, in its quest to continue accompanying our brothers and sisters of Haiti, has with the collaboration of other organizations:

· With the IMC (International Medical Corp), we were able to find medicines to assist people. Over 1500 have been seen – from wound care to child healthcare to issues related to women’s health, HSJ was able to alleviate some of the pain of the people of Christ-Roi and its environments. We went to the camps to provide services before others could come.

· received over 100 blankets from IMC which we give to community members especially mothers with children that came to the clinic. We had 20 stoves to give away from IMC 2 weeks ago and yesterday we had 50 more dedicated to women in the nutrition program. We received half pallets of nutritional cookies which were distributed partly by members of community-based organizations. The children that came to the clinic also received the cookies.

· received 305 tents from CRS and 6 from IMC. On average we gave away 240 to individuals and families and the rest to groups like Sr. Yannick’s community

Food – US marines doing a good job of giving out food – almost everyone has received rice – but people standing on long lines for hours and it is difficult for many.

Many infections are popping up due to lack of sanitation. Garbage is mounting everywhere and the rats are multiplying. The rain is particularly worrisome, Max said when it rains people just find a building that looks like it won’t fall and has an overhang and just stand there until it stop.

Dennis and I will be traveling to Haiti on Monday, March 1 until Friday, March 5th. We hope to give you a first hand account during or at least after our visit.

Peace, Sue

1. He is gathering the littler ones – grades 1-6 – to draw pictures and do things to help them process their trauma. This will begin on Monday.
2. He will call the older students into smaller groups to talk with them about what’s happened, ask what they need and reassure them that their lives have not stopped – life will go on, they still have hope.
3. On March 1 he will bring the groups together in the yard and begin educational activities with the older ones assisting the younger ones.

This is how he will start. Max believes in education as the way forward for Haiti. He will NOT let these children languish. He knows that structure will help them to adjust to what has happened.

In other news, a new medical and support group will be arriving this weekend. Included in the group will be a psychiatrist who will work with the people in the neighborhood and try to give them strategies to help them feel some sense of control in their lives.

CRS has said they will be delivering 300 tents by the end of the week. Rainy season is fast approaching bringing many serious concerns.

I have not spoken much about Pharra, our Hospitality Director. I do know that she is one of the strongest people I know and is working with all of her strength for the people of Christ Roi. I hope to have a report from her soon. In her last short email she wrote, ” It is not all lost. Even with all that sorrow It is like a new beginning for Hospice, for Haiti. Hope we can”Carpe Diem”.”

And finally Max shared this analysis, update and story with us a couple of days ago:

…it is true that most of the items are still at the airport and for many reasons. The international community was shocked at the devastation and did not really know how to react. Haiti does not have the infrastructure to welcome the aid. At first it was stored at the industrial facility by the airport and this required so much clearance to get things out because it is controlled by the UN military personnel. Also there were territorial issues between the different big players like France, USA, Venezuela and others. The airport is under the direct control of authority of the US army (different branches) and there were complaints about who they let in.
The president’s operation is at a police precinct (Judiciary Police Dept), the parliament is at the police academy – the different ministries at some UN compound. The interface was very difficult.
By the way, World Food Program and the US army started delivering food and water and it seems to be alleviating people’s hunger. At the beginning we had 7 stations that required food assistance from us and they were serving tens of people. Today we only provide food to 2 stations and yet they don’t come every day like it was in the aftermath of the earthquake. We don’t buy as much drinking water as previously to give to people. The rainy season which is almost upon us presents the biggest challenge because most people are on the street and they don’t have tents. We had two close calls for rain so far. On Sunday and Monday it started to rain and you could hear the whole western part of Haiti screaming out to Jesus to stop the rain. The prayers were answered because although it drizzles, the pouring rain did not occur.

Thanks for your efforts and that of other members of the Hospice family. Hats off to you for all of your efforts to alleviate the suffering of the people of Haiti.

There is not much more I can add to that – Bless you all!

Sue

Spoke with Max tonight. Finally an organization -International Medical Corps (IMC) – brought nutritional “cookies” – LOTS of them – up to Hospice! Max distributed them to smaller groups in the neighborhood. One of the guys asked Max if he had any tents – Max did not. This guy only had 2, but gave Max 1. Max was very grateful – he finally has a 6 person guest room!

Some medical people came over from a place called Matthew 25 and saw over 100 children. When they had to close down and go back, there were still 95 mothers and children waiting to be seen. These medical people were part of a group that came on their own – not with any specific organization.

Another friend of Max’s brought some doctors over – they went out into the neighborhood and saw another 200 people.

So many who could barely do anything before now have the extra burden of missing a limb – making life all that much more difficult. All of this mostly from lack of any medical care in the fist several days. I asked Max if the people were at all able to make any sense of what had happened. He said that it’s hard to make sense out of non-sense, but they are trying. And they know they have to go on – they are still here for some reason.

I would also like to take this opportunity to name all of the wonderful people who made up the first medical team that went a couple of weeks ago. Inspired by Dawn Pinder, 3 year volunteer team member at Hospice who now lives in Florida, the group included David Chesire, Lucie Fontaine, Laura Ford, Leroy Himebauch, Joan Huffman, Sheldon Malcom, Rose Numa (Max’s wife), Tom Richert, Mark Schuller, Erin Snyder (also a previous Hospice volunteer), Bobi Wall, and Pam Stewart. Each was a FIRST RESPONDER in the truest sense of the word! Max said they cried when they left – feeling so attached to all the people they saw and wishing they could follow-up on each and every one of them.

Please continue to keep the people of Haiti in your thoughts and prayers. The enormity of this devestation is overwhelming.

Peace, Sue

Haiti Journal by Bobi Wall, NP

I found out Saturday, January 16 that I had been approved to go with a team of thirteen others to help with Haiti earthquake relief. I just had two days to pack and prepare for this unique and challenging experience. The others on the team were: an anthropologist from New York, an LSW, an MPH, two security people from Wisconsin, one PA from Colorado and another from Jacksonville, a first year resident from Brown University, one trauma surgeon from UF Shands, (better known to journal readers as Dr. Joan Huffman, Editor-in-Chief) one trauma psychologist, two nurses and me, the NP. Some of our team had been to Haiti before and had worked at clinics there. Some were new to the whole experience, like me. We worked on arranging medical supplies through Project Blessing before we drove on Tuesday, January 19 to Miami for a chartered flight to Haiti.
One week after the earthquake, we were on a flight headed to Haiti to provide much needed relief assistance. Flying in we could not see much due to dust clouds. As we landed, the airport scene was overwhelming. Military helicopters were everywhere. There were tents erected Iran, Mexico, and France and many Brazilian planes. We passed through the airport building and I noticed water all over the floor as well as cracks and sagging ceilings.
As we approached the other side of the building, hundreds of faces lined the perimeter of the fence. All of those people were shouting to get the job of helping arriving relief workers with their bags. Pallets of supplies lined the runway, and we lost our 10 boxes of medical supplies in the disorder. All we had left were the supplies we each brought, our surgical instruments and a saw for amputations.
We took a van to the clinic at Hospice St. Joseph. At first I thought the destruction seemed mild, but as we left the airport area I saw the destruction was rampant. When we got to St. Joseph’s, the courtyard where we were to set up and clinic and work was too small and it was filled with trees and a cracked cement slab. The clinic location had to change. We also changed our sleeping accommodations from an apartment floor to inflatable mats outside on the ground. There were too many aftershocks, so a clear space on the ground was safer.
The first day of clinic, we found some bags of meds. One PA stayed at the courtyard and set up a clinic while one surgical group went out in the surrounding area looking for those needing medical care. We had acquired 12 volunteers for first responders and translators at St. Joseph’s from the pool of their workers who all lost their homes. Many also lost family.
I was a part of the second team (an intern, a nurse, and some volunteers). We hiked about a mile. We found people who had numerous infected wounds and fractures. Someone had done a lot of these people a disservice and sutured the wounds closed. Much of my day was spent cutting sutures, debriding, cleaning and redressing wounds. There were lots of infected scalp wounds. I mobilized a volunteer to cut bamboo and make me some splints for fractures. We wrapped them with ace bandages, had canes made out of bamboo and sent the people on their way with ibuprofen. We did not send anyone away without giving them some medicine. We had to decrease the frequency of administration as our supplies were limited at this point. I also utilized the psychologist after I saw some folks who had great need of him. The temperature was in the 90’s to 100 during the heat of the day.
At one point an aftershock occurred and the people yelled,”shake, shake, shake” and ran into our one-room clinic. The people waiting to see us were endless. We saw over 200 at this clinic that day. One of the most frustrating parts was the flies crowding the wounds as we tried to treat them. At 3 p.m. we wrapped up our clinic, packed our supplies, and set off to return to Hospice St. Joseph. The route was uphill and considerably dusty through tent cities. I wore a mask and Vicks to filter the dust as well as the odor of decay.
As I climbed I began to wheeze considerably. Taking off the mask did not help. Finally I was given a chair at one of the tent camps and I sat and wheezed while the intern ran to try to retrieve an inhaler. At one point I thought I might be left here until after sunset to try to walk again. Unfortunately, we had no inhalers, which as the days went on, was an absolute essential for a lot of the children. The van made it part way, and I was able to scramble to its safety after a brief rest.
We rethought day two as the surgical team did not see as many people. Dr. Huffman did amputate two fingers from a lady, using only local anesthetic. We combined the two teams and headed en masse to our original site. Now we had two tent coverings. This freed us up to concentrate more in each of our own areas and to consult quickly with one another. We started to see more children with headaches and dehydration. We had rehydration packs for children and children’s Tylenol. Both days clinic was cut short as we ran out of our own water supply. It was hard to keep track of our supplies and the water kept disappearing.
The team members started to get chills, weakness and headaches. We all avoided diarrhea by taking 1 Cipro 500mg every day. We also took a daily acidophilus and malranone to prevent malaria. I got some intense mosquito bites sleeping in the open at night. We did have coils and clip on fans with repellent which helped but did not eliminate mosquitoes.
And the end of the second day of clinic we got a ride back to the hospice. When we arrived, we were welcomed with a Haitian meal of pasta and Creole sauce, cole slaw with vinegar dressing, plantains, tomatoes, and lettuce. Most people were eating now, and we paid them to help their economy, to cook for us. Yes we ate right along with them. They cleaned their vegetables with potable water and two drops of Clorox which is a standard for them.
This night turned out to be more troubling than most. We were blessed with a couple nite lites because of a revived generator which made sleep easier. The team all slept on the cement slab of ground and the Haitian volunteers also on the ground on the other side of the cement steps. Our dog, a resident mutt, chased rats away at night and the cat chased bugs.
The next day was full and we were very tired. The clinic changed to another site. We passed a much worse hit area of the city just beyond a soccer field and another massive tent city into a gated courtyard run by the sisters of Mother Theresa’s group. Stench of death was much stronger in this area. En route to this area we passed a canal with minimal water filled with rubbish which would serve as a reservoir for multiple diseases when the rains came. Large numbers of children and families came to the clinic. Today’s complaints, in addition to the ubiquitous wounds, were cough, fever, and stomach aches. Many people had not eaten in days. They had water but not much. Dust was everywhere. A lot of people also complained they were unable to sleep. Every day there were aftershocks. We had to be more creative in dealing with these complaints. Babies were listless. We started multiple IVs. On one patient we could not get an IV started so I did the old hypodermaclysis. I also saw a younger lady that had lost continence, so I referred her to Dr. Huffman and the lady was transported to the MASH hospital.
Today we began to feel more overwhelmed. The needs were so immense just for the basics of food and water. If we had those they would relieve some of the headaches and stomach aches. We also needed masks to filter dust. I am beginning to feel like I cannot make a difference.
Saturday evening, January 23, we heard Haitians singing hymns until late in the night. Even with all that has happened to them, they are steadfast in their faith. On Sunday we decided to take a break as most Haitians will not come to clinic and will observe the Sabbath instead. But even today a few needy people straggled in to the clinic. We had a girl come with an external fixator on one leg, it needed debrided, and the bone was showing through. So several of us helped Dr. Huffman debride it and cover. We only had local anesthetic, so during the procedure the girl passed out. I was holding her head and as I turned to look behind me, I was inches from the edge of a cement cliff. We all got through today.
There were a couple more days the same as before and then we mobilized the whole team and left Haitian first responders to manage the base clinic. Today we found out the newborn baby who had been in our clinic a few times, died. We are all saddened.
Our last night arrives, so we must organize some of the inventory for the next group arriving to provide medical relief. They should be in by the end of the week. We pack little of our own items and leave most of what we brought for the Haitian people.
As we return to the airport on January 26, we see the airport building is no longer open. We were given pills to deworm us before we left. The team got split up in the C17 airplane. We slept the 2-hour flight to Orlando. The Red Cross was waiting to help us. I got a tangerine from them…sooo good. We rented a car and drove to Jacksonville.
After returning, I was still on hyper alert. Diarrhea set in and my thoughts are disorganized. I cannot bring myself to download pictures yet. Some moments I want to sob. I left behind new Haitian friends. Some moments I just wish I could purge my body of this tragedy, but I make plans to return to work and my life. Yet, I am not ready or able to process all that happened to me in Haiti.

All.. our volunteer back office is doing the best we can keeping up with correspondence, working the phones, and gratefully processing donations. We are encouraged by the response. And …as former boss was fond of saying…. “a busy clerk is a happy clerk”.

Yesterday we got an especially nice surprise. We received a hand made card and a note from students at Holy Trinity School (K-8) in Wallingford CT. Sister Kathleen Kelly (RSM) is Principal there and long time friend to Hospice St. Joseph. Sister Katie.. as she prefers to be called… sent the notes along with a batch of very generous donations.

Here’s how the card read:

Dear Friends of Haiti,
“When I learned in the news what happened, I started to pray for you every day. I hope that Haiti gets better.With all the money that we get for you it will help you and the sick ones that hope to get better. I also hope our president Barack Obama will help you more and more. I also hope they find all the people. I hope you get better

Love, Jailene

Here’s the note:

Dear Sister Katie,
“Here is my life savings for the people of Haiti. I will pray for the people.”

Love Natalie

Sr. Katie reports that Natalie’s life savings was $5.37 in pennies which was included in Holy Trinity’s donation!

Sr. Katie thought these notes would bring us a smile…they did and much more…peace..Dennis

Yesterday the Board of Directors gathered at Trinity College in Hartford to welcome Max, to hear his first hand account of what is happening and to strategize about the future. Max made his way out Haiti on Friday on an Army transport to Florida, was bussed to the Orlando airport and then got a ticket to Hartford arriving midnight on Saturday morning with only the clothes on his back. He plans on returning to Haiti today through the Dominica Republic.

Everyone was thrilled to see him, embrace him and listen to him. It was too much for him to explain in any great detail the devastation the earthquake has caused. But his enthusiasm returned in his narration of what Hospice St. Joseph is already doing on the ground and what he would like to see happen in the future. While EVERYONE is sleeping outside, the community is pulling together, groups are organizing, contacts are being made, including Catholic Relief Services (CRS). He feels that the neighborhood needs Hospice more than ever and he is committed to leading. When asked about a mass exodus from Port-au-Prince, he said thousands of people are still in Christ Roi and feels even if they go, they will return quickly as the provinces had NO services at all for people. And Port-au-Prince is where the food is – that will be a major reason people will return.

Life in Christ Roi is starting to revive slowly. He is concerned about children coming into the yard to be seen by the medical team – they are presenting with diarrhea and vomiting – sure signs that the water they are drinking is contaminated. A second wave of death as a result of the earthquake is in the making if diseases like cholera, malaria, typhoid take hold.

The medical team on the ground reports that there is NOWHERE for people in Christ Roi to get medical care right now. If you need a simple amputation, you can get that, but otherwise, nothing. Today (Sunday) some of the team will rest while others go out again into the neighborhood. They have been working non-stop.

I can’t repeat enough how impressed we all are with Max’s leadership ability, his know-how to get things done in Haiti and his determination to be of service. The Board of Directors along with Bishop Cote, Diocese of Norwich, fully supports his efforts and remain committed to Hospice St. Joseph for the long haul.

We will keep you informed of the specific plans of the Board soon.

Peace,
Sue

Since Max feels things are in good hands on the ground with the medical team there he is flying out tomorrow – basically if you have a us passport you just line up and the airport and they get you on a plane as an evacuee. He wants to attend the Board of Directors meeting on here in Connecticut on Sat. so he can give all of the members a detailed account of conditions in and around Hospice as well as Haiti. He says he will go back on Sunday through the Dominican Republic.

Erin has made a promising connection with CRS and Hospice may become a site for food distribution.

The medical team went out and saw 350 patients. About 250 had infected wounds. Word will spread tomorrow and they are somewhat concerned that people will start showing up in the yard in large numbers. They much prefer to go out and find people. Their supplies have not yet gotten to Haiti, but they have been able to go to some larger groups and get things to take back to Hospice.

STILL no large organizations have been in the neighborhood to help. It’s kind of mind boggling. A small organization like ours was able to get a team there, get them from the airport to Hospice and start working.

Since I can’t give you too much news of Hospice right now, I am including excerpts of an email someone sent out whose daughter is working with Save the Children. She is in an area called Leogane, not too far from Port-au-Prince, which is entirely flattened. It also speaks well of the efforts of other countries besides the US. It follows:

“I walked through town today and counted: Japanese crew; Swiss Doctors Without Borders (MSF); Swede MSF; Canadian MSF; our crew; another group from Massachusetts; HSC docs [local doctors from Leogane] and another mystery group on their way. The Japanese are incredible – they have their own operating room including an x-ray machine and brought their own ice cream makers. We’re all jealous.

Houses with the most severe stench of decaying bodies are starting to be bull-dozed. So hopefully the stench will subside within a week. It’s pretty overwhelming in some areas.

This morning Jean Marc and I played air traffic control when 2 helicopters and a plane all wanted to land at the same time. Shipments are flying in about every 30 minutes – unfortunately there’s not much coordination about where the stuff is supposed to go. It’s totally chaotic.

The UN is trying to distribute tents and tarps, but they haven’t quite mastered distribution yet. Within seconds they’re overpowered and chaos ensues. Jn. Marc and Nathan are off to rescue the latest UN distributors as I type.

Information from other sources: Doctors report that:
…..90% of the buildings have just been flattened. There are the “tent cities” of the refugees. He said some of them have sheets for shelter, and some have used metal to make shelters. He could hear the Haitians singing hymns as we spoke……”

Sue again – I will be at the Board meeting tomorrow to take notes so may not report anything until Sat night. Thanks to you all for keeping up with this.